Girly Roadtrip

After one of my bestest friends wasn't able to come to Molly's Christening we decided that I would come down with the girls to the seaside to cheer her up all the way to Bridport.

So Friday morning Sophie woke me at 530am very excited about our trip to the seaside so much so that at 7am she was dressed and raring to go, only problem being she was in swimming costume sun hat wellies and sunglasses, she had even put on suntan lotion so she didn't get burnt.  We weren't going to leave until she had finished school but as she point blank refused to get changed I thought we would leave earlier and save any bad starts to our little trip. 


The journey was about 3 hours and I was hoping they would both sleep and we could avoid any unscheduled stops on the way and Id got nearly 2/3 of the way before the baby started to protest as she was hungry but typically this was when we got stuck in the only bit of traffic and where there was no laybys to stop in so my only weapon against the screaming was to play the soig by GOTYE over and over and over to calm the screaming, which it did luckily.

When we arrived we were warmly greeted by my friend and when she went to get Sophie out the car was surprised to see her in just a swimming costume and Sophie's demands of being taken to the sea meant we unpacked then all scrambled back into the car and went to the beach to keep her happy.  Was lovely and we met my friends boyfriend and his kids down there and Sophie was in her element playing.

The Saturday the sun came out in full force and we again spent the day at the beach, seeing the kids play in the shingle and waves reminded me how little children actually need in monetary terms to keep them happy, the big toys the expensive days out don't make any difference to them at this age they were happy playing on a beach with an ice cream as a reward at the end of the day. Although the sun was out it was still windy and a bit of a chill so we kinda forgot that we would still catch the sun and once back at the house we noticed that indeed i looked rather red in the face oooppps.

Saturday i managed to sneak out for a quick drink with my friend at the pub whilst her boyfriend watched the girls when they were asleep  and it was lovely and something we haven't done for such a long time just a shame it wasn't for longer but next time.

Sunday we had bacon sarnies and a wonder round the shops ending up in the pub for lunch before we scooted off home.
Eldest must have been shattered as she slept for the whole was home and baby for the majority of the way and when she woke there wasn't any crying just happy babbling which i could listen to all day long.

I realised that although bloody knackering dealing with the kids all alone it wasn't as scary as the thought first was travelling alone with the girls, id even go as far as to say id do it again!

Conveyor belt guilt

Am I alone in the conveyor belt guilt at the supermarket or actually when buying anything wondering what the shop assistants make of my purchases? I've previously worked in retail and I never batted an eye lid at purchases but they were shoes and handbags and you can't really go wrong there.

My last bout of guilt was this morning on my shopping trip where I'm stocking up on random bits and bobs before I go away this weekend. As we're going away I thought its going to be a lot easier to get baby some babyfood rather than worrying I'm somewhere to heat cool etc at the right times for her so easy peasy I got pouches. I wanted to grab the old lady's hand putting them through the checkout and say these are for a weekend away I would obviously normally cook from fresh. The same way when buying dummies I want to shout its just for naps don't worry she won't be wondering about with them at the age of 5 and formula buying makes me want to offer my nursing bra up and say hey I've done my six months I want my boobs back is this ok. An I alone in this guilt. I never knew this guilt before kids they've got a hell of a lot to answer for little blighters

Breastfeeding

Ive been incredibly lucky with both my girls that breastfeeding has been a relatively easy thing.  Once we got through the 6 week pain barrier with Sophie my eldest it was a breeze, and with Molly we never had that awful 6 weeks it just once established seemed like she had been doing it for ages.

Now I'm not one of those hardcore you should breastfeed mums, I tried it and it worked for me had it not worked I wouldn't have hesitated switching to formula because as far as I am concerned as long as baby is being fed and mum is happy then that is all that matters full stop.  I was lucky I haven't had mastitis and cracked nipples or any of the nasty side effects that can occur due to breastfeeding so Ive fed both girls to at least 6 months. 

Ive now reached this point with Molly she will be 6 months on Monday and for a few days now shes been having formula at bedtime and happily chugging away on the bottle.  I should be grateful its not been a fight to get her to take the bottle like we had for the eldest and that when I go back to work I will be safe in the knowledge that hubby can give her a full bottle of milk at bedtime whilst I'm working and she can go to sleep with a full tummy but.....it makes me a little bit sad still how shes switched so easily from me to the bottle without so much as a thanks mum Ill miss your boob.

And as I slowly stop altogether Ill miss that little hand under my arm playing about tickling me and the other one holding onto my fingers as I feed her, Ill miss seeing her milky moustache thinking that's all me, Ill miss the comfort that only I can give her but.. I know that I've grown her all from a little seedling in my tummy then from my milk until shes got to be a massive baby elephant and that all the goodness she needs from me she got. But my goodness how I wont miss those god damn awful feeding bras and the non cleavage and support they don't give you and wont for much longer have to worry about what top I'm wearing when I'm going out and will it be discrete enough.

So roll on the shopping for new underwear but boo to the end of a wonderful experience

I dont want to grow up!

Driving to my nans today I had my iPhone plugged into the stereo. I had both girls in the back of the car and we were merrily pootiling along. Untill that little voice pipes up
Turn the music down mummy
No I said
But mummy it hurts my ears it's too loud
Begrudgingly I turn it down

Hold on isn't this a conversation I'm going to be having with her soon enough.

I want her to stay at 3 I don't want her to grow up and more importantly I dont want to grow up.

I want to still be able to go clubbing without the oh mum please dont go out like that I want to be able to play loud music in the car and not be told the music is for old people and it's too loud. I like radio one I don't want to listen to radio two I don't want them to think that garage, prodidgy, Lilly Allen and lady gaga are retro music.
I don't want to be asked what it was like the first time round or what the first mobiles were like.

I'm just getting over turning 30 I want to be young and I don't want my babies to grow up either.

I brought the wrong cereal bar

Why is it some days whatever you do as a parent it's just not enough for some children. Baby's happy aslong as my boob is full of milk. Eldest however is having a bad day which in turn makes me not like her very much. Are we allowed to say that. I love her with all my heart and would die for her but sometimes I don't like her.

This morning I was being mean by wanting to sleep untill 7am. This isn't a new thing we grow clock has always been set to 7am and she knows to stay in her room. This morning however mean mummy made her stay in her room for 40 mins.

She the chirped up a bit because I let her wear her summer dress to nursery so all smiles and hugs until I needed to go to the post box before school which she didn't want to do so back to grumpy child.

After school I brought the wrong cereal bar and no drink and all hell broke loose. Whining silly put on crying all the way home thank god I live close to the school or I'd have lost it I think. Now babys going down for a nap and I can hear her happily playing but dread going downstairs as I'm sure it will start it all off again when I ask the question of what shall we have for dinner. Roll on 4.15 when hubby returns and roll on 7pm some much needed adult conversation over dinner with mates.

And breathe ...

All the things I said id never do!!

Whilst on twitter earlier today I saw a conversation by some mummy and daddy types that made me think about the things I always said Id never do when I had kids and that I now do....

I think its very easy when your childless to make judgements of Id never let my child do that but a few years on many sleepless nights and tantrums later its anything for an easy life most of the time.

My list was

Fruit shoots - bottles of sugar, never my children will just drink water of course. Now it keeps her quiet she likes the taste and once in a while doesn't hurt as a treat, she certainly doesn't have them all the time but when we go for chips and nuggets, which is another thing...
McDonald's - no way are they having happy meals no way no way, well ok then were in a rush I forgot to get anything out the freezer and the pastas run out and were on the way to nannies so ok then yeah fruit shoot might as well chuck that into the mix too.
Frozen food - I've got my Annabel karmel books I'm armed with pots and pans so there will always be a good homemade meal on the table, except for those days when I cant be arsed to make from scratch and I know she'll eat all the chicken Kiev's and chips or fish fingers or pie that goes on the plates and seconds instead of turning away my slaved over dish of something homemade
DVDs and telly - well 30 mins a day of strictly controlled viewing wont hurt, obviously these rules were made before I realised how tired Id be after working until 1am getting up with children through the night and then up for the day at 6am when I actually put CBeebbies or milkshake on for a sneaky extra hour of much needed sleep or the dvd to lull her off for the naps that she wont take any other way.  Now I dread a day without the telly at some point but I could leave baby Jake out annoying little.....
Dummies- my kids wont have dummies uggghhhh how common, one whiny baby who is using mummy to suck my god did I love the dummy my friend lent me to try unfortunately eldest didn't take to it but from the start youngest was given one and shes not the best at it but I don't have much trouble with her. I think my problem was the 4 year olds with them in their gob still walking about which wont happen.
Formula milk - I was determined to breast feed and luckily Ive been able to do this with both girls but wasn't going to have formula milk ever- not sure what I thought would happen once Id gone back to work, well she went onto formula and she didn't combust or anything as they'd probably have you believe and baby will be put onto formula when the time comes.
Clark's shoes - as a former employee of nearly 10 years I was adamant she would have fitted shoes but they are expensive and not high on the cute factor needless to say a few other cute shoes have made their way into the home

I'm sure this list could go on and on...suppose moral of the story is never judge until your shattered and harassed mummy and we all do what we have to to get through the day!

time to be a brave girl

As a mum Ive come to learn that its a bit like my job, never the same day twice.  This is what I love about my job and cant wait to see what the evening will hold for me when I set foot through the door at 5pm.  Sometimes as a mum this can be fun also but mainly I like the routine of our normal day and I actually think the girls like it too. The baby certainly does and I think shes thriving on the routine we have knowing what comes next and shes certainly a lot more laid back than Sophie was at this age.  Maybe its the inner child in me that likes to know whats coming next and like the security of familiar surroundings and occasions.

So with my eldest starting nursery it was inevitable Id have to be a grown up mummy soon enough. the time has come as she came home the other day with a party invite in her book bag. Id love to ignore it much like Ive ignored plenty of invites in the past if it was out of my comfort zone and not done things because I'm wary of new situations but I'm getting braver as I get older and the girls certainly help with that too. Sophie was at playgroup for a year and I hardly spoke to any of those mums and didn't go to one of the parties she was invited to as I just struggled with standing around like a spare part not knowing anyone out of my comfort zone thus meaning Sophie misses out just because of my shyness. Ive made an effort now shes at nursery and speak to a few mums in the playground and am trying to make more of an effort with this shyness. Luckily Sophie's not shy anything but and this I'm grateful for, so time to take a leaf out of my daughters book and take her to this party and be a big brave girl. 

 Maybe I'll get a sticker for being a brave girl??